Aquarium Fashion

The hottest and latest thing in fashion is Aquarium clothing. Shark & Shark has come out with a new line of fashion that is also living habitat for fish. The first and most popular item was the bra. Made of a super duper rubber plastic for extra strength so it will not tear, it is a two-sided bra that hooks in the front. This bra is then filled with sparkling fresh water and live minnows. These minnows are raised especially for the bras. They are breed to be mini-minnows. The minnows are put in the bra and it is sealed. Now what makes this so wonderful, is that the person wearing the bra heats the water with their own body heat and provides oxygen by their body movements. A person wearing this bra will benefit from a massage by the minnows swimming around and rubbing against their body; like a thousand little fingers massaging them. A person can even personally design their own bra by choosing what will go in with the minnows; such as seed weed and other vegetation.

There is also a line of aquarium hats. Image a derby hat with a seahorse swim around in it and a little treasure chest in the middle. Or how about a sailor hat with a mini whale in it.

Also available are aquarium shoes. One can either choose between ones that look like plastic bags tied to your feet or big fish bowls held on with suspenders around your legs. In both kinds the fish that are use are called feet feeders. As you wear these shoes the fish give you a pedicure, nibbling off all your dry skin, leaving your feet smooth and clean.

Word of warning: With all the Aquarium Wear, one can not wear in freezing weather because the water will freeze.

Shrew vs Elephant

The shrew is the smallest of all mammals. The elephant is the largest. They share the same number of heartbeats before their respective tickers wear out. The shrew lives only two years, the elephant as much as sixty. The moral of the story? Save your movements. Don't waste them. The second you use up all those heartbeats, that's the second you'll topple over dead.

Silk

Wearing silk is like playing with fire, and therefore the fabric should not be found in a good Christian's closet. This is only my personal opinion, mind you. But consider the fact that Hollywood stars wear silk, and it is common knowledge that many of them have the morals of a tomcat on Viagra. Better to wear nylon and sweat like a Swede in a sauna than be seduced by silk. And as if avoiding temptation were not reason enough for not wearing silk, then consider that fabric's origins. What woman in her right mind would wear a dress mad from caterpillar secretions?

What if?

Good Old Days - Christmas

Tis the season-------with all the hustle and bustle. It bring back memories of Christmases from my past.

As I have mentioned before money in our house was not to be found, so when it came to decorating for the holidays one would find that most of the decorations were homemade. I would estimate that in my life time I have made miles and miles of the construction paper garland.........you know the one......where you cut strips of red and green construction paper and glue interlocking circles of alternating color together. Not only did we use this at home to decorate the tree but I also remember having to make the same garland in school to decorate the classroom.

We would also make decorations for the tree out of construction paper, glue and glitter. Mom would be cleaning up the glitter still in May.

My favorite decorations were the ones on the window. Mom would melt wax in a six department cupcake pan and then add different food coloring. She would cut out stencils out of wax paper and then with sponges we would hold the stencils on the windows and dab the wax on to make pictures. Course when you have kids doing the dabbing and they fail to hold the stencil still the outcome always looked like a blob of wax.......because that is what it was. But it was fun doing it and we had different colors of the blobs. Poor Mom had to scrap it off after the holidays.

The decorations were probably some of the worst looking ones on earth but the memories are some of the best.

In present day holidays I don't decorate at all ....... not even a tree.

Back To The Good Old Days

Let's go back to the "Good Old Days" again.

I love the month of October. Not only is it my birth month but it also is the beginning of fall. With fall comes some of God's most beautiful work with colors.

Some of the ways that we use to enjoy this time of year were hayrides and hickory nut hunting. Hickory nuts are a sweet nut....excellent for the up and coming holiday baking. After the first frost and the trees would drop their nuts; our family, my two uncles and their family and my grandfather would go to the woods to hunt for the hickory nuts. Since the woods were behind the cow pasture, we would take a tractor pulling either a mud boat or a manure spreader. Both implements were scary to ride; but that just made it all the more fun. The mud boat was like a hugh wooden sled. We would put buckets upside down on it to sit on but when we hit bumps (which was often) it could knock you right off the mud boat. The manure spreader is just what the name saids (use to spread manure) It was like a wagon with chains in the bottom and prongs at the back. When turned on the chains would move the manure to the back where the prongs would throw the manure off in the field. When we used it for hickory nut hunting we would put planks across to sit on and made sure no one turned it on. We rode around in it like a pile of shit. lol

Off to the woods to find hickory nuts. The trees were not hard to find because the trunk of the tree were shaggy and could be seen at a distance. When we found a tree, we would park the tractor and every one would grab a bucket and start to pick up hickory nuts. Now over 50% of the nuts that you found had worm holes in and were no good........but they still had a use. We use to throw the wormy nuts at each other. Finding the nuts was not easy to do. You had to look under logs and stones and leaves..........in thistle, weeds and poison ivy. My uncle Paul would unhook the tractor and put a metal bucket on his head and used the tractor to bump the tree to get the tree to drop some more nuts. But not thinking ahead.........as the nuts dropped and hit the bucket on his head it made such a racket Uncle Paul always ended up with a headache.

Some times I would take a toy out to the woods and hide it to see if I could find it the next year when we went hickory nut hunting. I would put it under a fallen tree or a big rock or just bury it by a tree. Some times I would find it the next year and some times not. If the toy was plastic it was just dirty but if it was metal it was all rusty. (Actually I would take one of my brothers toys..........didn't want to loose any of mine).

At the end of the day we would all head back on the mud boat or the manure spreader, all covered with thistles and burrs. All the way home we would be picking them off of each other. When we got back we would lay the nut out on old screen doors to dry. A couple weeks later we would peel the outer layer off the nut and let them dry some more. Then my mom would crack the nuts in a bench vice and have a big bowl of them. Grandma and Grandpa would come over and pick out the nut meat. Mom would have all the nuts she needed for holiday baking.

Now if you wanted to have a pound of hickory nuts it would cost you about $18.00 and you would have none of the fun.

From your local reporter Zoom Zoom

Friendship

"Oh, the comfort,
the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person;
having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words,
but to pour them all out,
just as they are,
chaff and grain together,
knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them keeping what is worth keeping,
and then, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away."

How true! It is an inexpressible comfort to have that kind of friend, that kind of love-relationship with other people. Then one never needs to worry that others will be looking for hidden meanings, wrong emphases, sly inflections in what we say or do. Openly and honestly we can deal with people, and we will accord others the same gracious love and friendship. What is worth keeping, we will cherish. What is not will be blown away by the breath of kindness.

Zoom Zoom